When did the world go crazy?

I need an Amanda day. I need a day all to myself where I get a massage, my nails done, my make up (done well, that is), eyebrows waxed, fiance loving, etc.

This all is getting ridiculous.

1. Don't talk about me behind my back. It just gets back around to me eventually and then you look like a total asshole.

2.Just ignore/delete shit you don't want to see. That's what I do. If I don't like it, or if I think it's stupid I delete it. There's no need to go all wonky over a facebook or myspace application. Come on now. PEACE PEOPLE PEACE.

3.I'm so tired of CRAP. Tonight was the diarrea frosting on the shit cake that was this week. I need to not have to talk a friend down from doing drugs or killing themselves for a hot minute. Give me a month or two to sort my stuff out, PUHLEASE.

4. I hate people who cannot have an intelligent arguement. When I say, "You are a chauvanist pig who has no idea what loyalty, honesty, faithfulness, and respect mean," and you retort with, "Are you fucking stupid? You're just an emo faggy bitch who posts middle-school shit on myspace. And your band sucks," who sounds middle school here?

My response?

"No, YOU are fucking stupid for thinking that you are anything but an ugly ogre of a man that looks like Shrek and acts like a sixteen year old. You're a waste of the salt it took to make you. Lose this number."

Your response?

"Lose your fucking life, bitch. Enjoy your "small town" existance."

Me?

"I actually like my life pretty well, so I don't think I'll lose it anytime soon. I'm sorry that your existance is so unfulfilling. I actually don't live in a small town anymore. I live with my fiance in the city..who, by the way, is a good man and doesn't want to have sex with every girl in town. You don't know anything about me, and the last time you ever saw me or anything about me was three years ago. I grew up. Looks like you just got more ignorant."

You?

"Is he blind? You're a worthless piece of shit. You both are. Fuck off emo faggy bitch."

Me--Finally fed up with being called an emo faggy bitch.....

"Go fuck yourself off a cliff. I'll never be worthless because I have people who love me--something you will never understand. I'm sorry your mommy didn't love you, thus you take your hatred of women out on everyone with a vagina, but I'm not going to pretend that you scare me at all. Conversation is over, you can have the last word if it makes you feel like a big scary man!!

I might be an emo faggy bitch but at least I'm happy that way...."

I finally left it like that.

All this for defending a friend.

4. If ONE more person says that they are going to kill themselves and I have to talk them down I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.




Yesterday and last night were supposed to be a relaxing evening in which I got to chill out and not have to deal with anybody else's shit. I just turned into the worst night out of the whole past few weeks where I've been dealing with everybody's quarter life crisis for them. I finally lost it tonight. I was so angry that I started crying in the middle of the bar.

It's just that I was so pissed off at everything that I couldn't find words, just tears.

Second break down of the day.

I just want for once for someone to ask if I'm okay. Just once for someone to be grateful for the things I do to take care of them, instead of sorry when it comes down to this breakdown and they've put all their shit on me because it looks to them as if I have no problems.

I just know how to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

I need a day to fix myself. Just for me. I need to be around people who won't give me shit to deal with, I need to be in a place where I can just breathe fresh air and feel the sun on my face, I need to feel like there is a place for me to go with people who care about me where I can just be...

JUST BE.

Maybe this next week.

I think Molly is going to end up married to Alan. I'm not sure why I think this, I just do...

God, it's been a crappy day.

Someone please tell me that I'm not the only one who has this problem!!?